When Saturday comes around I always look forward to what arguments the weekend’s football might inspire. Leading up to the weekend I have no idea what I’m going to write about but football being football it always throws something up. Maybe there would be a controversial red card or a brilliant nine-goal thriller. But in the 72nd minute of the Hull vs Newcastle game Alan Pardew gave me a gift of a blog. Cheers Alan!
I’d like to start by saying: what a plonker! Pardew has been around the block a bit. It’s difficult to tell exactly how old he is – he’s a bit like the Philip Schofield of the football world – but he’s old enough to know better. I was ashamed for him. It looked like Pardew came out to the post-match interviews very quickly, possibly even without conversing with the Magpies’ press officer. He still made excuses (even with the benefit of hindsight), trying to make out it wasn’t a head-butt, “I tried to push him away with my head.” Yeah, course you did Alan. That’s as laughable as Luis Suarez’s excuse after the infamous ‘bite-gate’ scandal with Ivanovic:
Interviewer: Luis, it looks like you bit Ivanovic today. Anything to say for yourself?
Suarez: It wasn’t really a bite. I was just trying to smell Ivanovic’s new aftershave and it got up my nose a bit… so I uh… I… I was just wiping my nose on him.
Interviewer: You just wiped your nose on him?
Suarez: Yes.
Interviewer: It wasn’t a bite?
Suarez: A bite? What do you think I am, an animal? No. He just has nice perfume.
Liverpool Press Officer: Luis. Can I have a quick word?
(Liverpool Press Officer whispers inaudibly in Suarez’s ear)
Liverpool Press Officer: Can you ask the question again please?
Interviewer: Luis, it looks like you bit Ivanovic today. Anything to say for yourself?
Suarez: I’m sorry for my actions.
I think that’s how it went, anyway.
Newcastle didn’t hang around long, issuing Pardew with a £100,000 fine before the FA even had the time to run round to Greg Dyke’s nursing home and wake him up from his afternoon nap – apparently they found him dribbling on a crossword in front of Pointless Celebrities. So, yet again the FA find themselves on the back foot. But, it was a great move by Newcastle. If Ashley wanted Pardew out he had just been handed a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to sack him at £0 cost. On the other hand if Newcastle had waited for the FA to react they may have been forced into a dismissal. Ashley had a quick decision to make and based on football alone I think he made the right one. Based on being a role model, taking the club forward, setting an example to the younger supporters of Newcastle (and football as a whole) as well as disciplining his own players in the future, I think it was a terrible decision.
Pardew has got Newcastle back to where they should be (top 8 of the premier League is about right for a selling club the size of the Magpies). They play decent football (sometimes) and he has to constantly deal with selling his top players (basically because they’re fed up of living in the North East… no comment). So, fair play, good job Alan. But I’m afraid I agree with Robbie Savage on this one (God, that was painful). Savage said “I thought his position as manager was untenable… Pardew shouldn’t be allowed in the ground for the last 10 games… How can you manage a group of players when you have done that to one of their fellow professionals?”
As a leader of such an important sports team in this country Pardew should be displaced. Newcastle haven’t done it so now it’s up to the FA. They have the power and they need to act now. Pardew’s actions were nothing short of hooliganism. What punishment do hooligans receive for such actions? They are banned from football. This is a professional sport wherein athletes compete for trophies. I can’t remember ever seeing Sir Steve Redgrave bash the opposition rower over the head with his oar because he splashed him. I can’t remember seeing Phil ‘The Power’ Taylor aim his dart at Martin ‘Wolfie’ Adams because he coughed before taking a shot. But I can remember a lot of unsavoury images from the past few years in the Premier League.
Pardew has now been charged with ‘improper conduct’ by the FA and he has until the 6th of March to contest that charge. If I was him, I’d take whatever punishment is dished out and thank my lucky stars I’m still allowed to be involved in the beautiful game. What I wouldn’t do is use the following quote as a character reference:
“Don’t let a couple of stupid incidents detract from the job he’s done at Newcastle. Especially with what goes on behind the scenes there” – Joey Barton, Twitter, Saturday 1st March 2014.